#4644006 - 03/18/24 10:34 PM
Grown ups joke time
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Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 6,598
NoFlyBoy
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Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 6,598
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A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having. All these years? Well, they're gone!' 'No more headaches??' the husband asks, 'What happened?'
His wife replies, 'Margie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, 'I do not have a headache' 'I do not have a headache' ' I do not have a headache.' Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.'
"That's wonderful!' proclaims the husband. His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that? '
A little less enthused, the husband agrees to try it and goes a few days later. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife, and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, 'WOW! - that was wonderful!'
The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.' He goes back into the bathroom, comes back, and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up, and her head is spinning. 'OH MY GOD!!' She proclaims. Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' With that, he goes back into the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying. 'She's not my wife' 'She's not my wife' 'She's not my wife' . 'She's not my wife.'
His funeral service will be held on Saturday.
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#4644155 - 03/22/24 10:24 AM
Re: Grown ups joke time
[Re: NoFlyBoy]
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,499
PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
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Pro-Consul of Florida
King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,499
Miami, FL USA
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Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?"
His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer." In Saudi Arabia 16 wives is no problem!
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
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#4644174 - 03/22/24 02:42 PM
Re: Grown ups joke time
[Re: PanzerMeyer]
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 12,120
Chucky
Veteran
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Veteran
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 12,120
UK
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Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?"
His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer." In Saudi Arabia 16 wives is no problem! It's probably why the men don't wear trousers. It saves time.
EV's are the Devils matchbox.
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#4645621 - 04/23/24 04:10 PM
Re: Grown ups joke time
[Re: NoFlyBoy]
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,729
bones
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Posts: 6,729
Earth
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How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I dunno, must be more than 11 because my basement is still dark.
v6,
boNes
"Also, I would prefer a back seater over the extra gas any day. I would have 80 pounds of flesh to eat and a pair of glasses to start a fire." --F/A-18 Hornet pilot
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Good one Bones.
!